Kristan Karinen (B. June 28, 1988) might be the greatest person alive. She was born in the mid-south part of Novato, CA, a medium sized town known particularly for its advances in age research (The Buck Institute) and for its high teenager-to-boredom ratio. At 18, immediately after graduating from Novato High School, she moved to New York City, and for the proceeding eighteen months lived in Chelsea (Manhattan), Staten Island, Elmhurst (Queens), Chelsea (a second time), Park Slope (Brooklyn), Astoria (Queens), and now resides in East Williamsburg (Brooklyn). She is an accomplished childrens' literature dealer with Borders Group Inc., and formerly a nutrient consultant and training mentor with Jamba Juice Inc.

Kristan was born the second child of Valerie Nixon (preceded by Donovan Nixon, b. August 11, 1982) and first child of Patrick Karinen, soon to be followed by twin boys (Jacob and Joseph Karinen, b. August 9, 1990.) By age 7, she had written her first full-length short story (titled "Super Mom") and by age 10 had an entire repertoire of literary accomplishments. Also at age 10, her parents legally separated and she and her younger brothers moved to Byron, CA, where she attended Byron Middle School. At age 12, she and her brothers and mother began a 6 month-long moving spree, living in the towns and cities Danielson and Groton, CT, Knoxville, West Knoxville, and East Knoxville, TN (where she attended the prestigious Vine Middle Arts and Sciences Magnet School). At age 13, Patrick Karinen petitioned for and was awarded with full custody of her and her brothers, and they moved back to Novato, the town of her birth, to attend San Jose Middle School.

While at Novato High School, Kristan participated in the Marin School of the Arts' Creative Writing class with Ms. Sue Sommer. She was editor-in-chief for MSA's monthly student run publication, the Avant Gardian, from 2003-2004. She also co-founded the Novato High Non-Violence Club, as well as the Novato High School branch of Junior State of America. She served as the Unit Commander for California's first AFJROTC unit (CA-011) during 2006, and received the highest honor for Senior Cadets, as well as a $2,000 scholarship. She graduated in June 2006, the 71st student of 251.

In July, 2006, she left for New York with little more than a suitcase of clothes and some saved up cash. After a month of searching, she found a place to stay in Staten Island, but upon realizing how far from work in Manhattan SI is, moved to Elmhurst, Queens. She attended Hunter College (CUNY) for two semesters, and subsequently dropped out. In June 2007, she had to move from her apartment in Queens and spent the next two months alternating between states of homelessness and couch-surfing, after conceding defeat and moving to Virginia with family members. In December, 2007, she moved back to New York, this time to an apartment in East Williamsburg, where she resides today.

Much can be said about the amazing qualities of Kristan Karinen, but with hardly enough space one may settle for a few links, the first of which being her personal blog for literary updates (http://divingindumpsters.blogspot.com), and her personal myspace account (http://www.myspace.com/heatmyworld).
Influences include:
ee cummings
Roald Dahl
The Barenaked Ladies
Shel Silverstein
Jonathan Lethem
Sara Sidle (from the popular television series CSI: Crime Scene Investigation)
Michael Ian Black