Rumors that Stipe might be gay, or at least bisexual, began to circulate as soon as R.E.M. became big enough to draw attention. "I felt forced to talk about my sexuality, my queerness, just because I felt like I was being looked on as a coward for
not talking about it, and I abhor that," he explained in 1998. "I thought it was dead obvious to everyone all along - I was wearing skirts and mascara in 1981, on-stage and in photo-shoots. All the lyrics I have written, for the most part, with a few exceptions, are really gender unspecific."
Around 1992, rumors that Stipe had contracted
HIV began to spread. "I know it bothered Michael's family," Peter Buck said in 1999. "No matter how much you tell your loved ones you're not dying, it's worrying for them to read it in the paper all the time. Still, as you can see, Michael's perfectly healthy. Stronger than I am."
Stipe decided not to make a statement when the rumors began to spread. "This might be really naïve, but my number one reason was – this is incredibly naïve, in retrospect – but I really felt like there are a lot of people who might respect me, for whatever reason, because of the music or just because I’m a celebrity, that think that [the AIDS story] about me might impact them in the way they handle their own private affairs, or in the way they thought about people who were HIV positive or who had AIDS. And, number two, I felt like it was a ludicrous claim and I didn’t feel like sinking to kibbles-and-bits journalism to even respond to it. It was spawned from a ridiculous series of little things and I didn’t feel like it was worth answering."
According to Stipe, he did not start the rumor and he does not know who did. "Not that I can tell. I wore a hat that said 'White House Stop AIDS'. I’m skinny. I’ve always been skinny, except in 1985 when I looked like
Marlon Brando, the last time I shaved my head. I was really sick then. Eating potatoes. I think AIDS hysteria would obviously and naturally extend to people who are media figures and anybody of indecipherable or unpronounced sexuality. Anybody who looks gaunt, for whatever reason. Anybody who is associated, for whatever reason – whether it's a hat, or the way I carry myself – as being queer-friendly."
In an interview, Stipe said he likes his sexuality being indecipherable. "Yeah. I kind of like gender-fucking. We’ve done it from the beginning. I think the songs should be heard by anybody and not necessarily have a male voice. I have written certain songs from what I consider to be a very female perspective, where the protagonist of the song was, in fact, female. 'Sweetness Follows' is the most recent and obvious example of that. To me, it’s a very female song. I like fucking around with that stuff. Blurring the edges a little bit. I don’t really like binary thought, no matter where it lands. And I think sexuality is a really slippery thing. I think a lot of people agree with me."
In a
2001 Time interview, Stipe described himself as a "
queer artist" and revealed that he had been in a relationship with "an amazing man" for three years at that point. In previous interviews he has described himself as "an equal opportunity lech" and said he doesn't define himself as
gay, straight, or
bisexual, but that he was attracted to and had relationships with both men and women.
Himself a
vegetarian, in the mid
1990s Stipe opened a vegetarian restaurant and juice bar, called Guaranteed, in Athens, Georgia. The restaurant was not successful and the site is now (as of 2007) an ice cream parlor. Although he is not involved in its operation Stipe owns the building housing
The Grit, a much more successful vegetarian eatery well-known for attracting both local and touring musicians.