Her brother's death, as well as that of her grandfather and other relations, left Kitty with an inheritance estimated at about £50,000. In
1822, while staying with her cousin Barbara Isabella, wife of Charles Buller, M.P., she met Thomas Carlyle, who was then employed as the Buller children's tutor. Romance was encouraged by another of Kitty's cousins, Julia (who married Edward Strachey, grandfather of the writer
Lytton Strachey), but the marriage of a wealthy lady to a poor, struggling writer was not generally approved of. Instead, on
21 November 1829, Kitty married Captain James Winslowe Phillipps and went on to have seven children.